Tom E.'s Profile

Yami is state-of-the-art Korean BBQ. I'm talking LED lights, extendible extractor hose fans and novelty call buttons to summon the waiters. It's slick, modern and very good. And unlike many of New Malden's more traditional Korean restaurants it's also open on Sunday nights.

It's where on a cold Feb Sunday night my wife, Monica Y and myself ate a real meat feast with beer, sides and appetisers for £60 total. We plumped for the BBQ set menu #1 which could easily have filled four or five, but instead ate it all for ourselves. Fatty pork, bacon, prime rib cut from the bone in front of us and sesame-covered steak. We matched it with wonderful pot-stickers and some fried soft tofu that would embarrass most Japanese attempts. Are you salivating yet?

Despite the techno extractor hoses and our own best attempts, we still left stinking of sizzling meats and our clothes are now awaiting washing. Such is the sacrifice of good Korean BBQ.

Yami is a good stop in New Malden for Korean BBQ, and the hordes of young fashion-following Koreans there will back me up. The menu isn't particularly diverse or interesting but everything is done well.

My bike is a bit like Trigger's Broomstick from Only Fools And Horses - it's the same one I've used every day for 10 years. But it's had about 4 new wheels, 2 new chains, new brakes, new seats... etc. etc. etc.

But one thing it had never got replaced was the crankset, and after 5 years of living outdoors with only 10 mins use a day, the sudden change to an hour's use a day in London's winter brought reality home. My old warhorse was dying. Crack noises with every pedal rotation. Ouch.

The American-accented man at Cyclecare shot me a look of tut-tut when I brought my bike in, which I didn't appreciate - but promptly he realised I was too hardcore with my old Raleigh to absorb any lecture, and the tune changed to one so rare in London bike shops - helpful willingness to mend a bike on the cheap.

The next day he replaced my crankset, pedals and all - with some new gear mixed with some old bits he had lying around. Massive same day repair done for only £65. My worn-and-torn bike is barely worth that price but it rides well now and could well last another decade thanks to his MacGyver repair skills.

Make Do And Mend.

Get some Chinese takeaway before you come to post your letters here. That way you can re-use the disposable chopsticks to poke your own eyes out.

Trust me, it would be more enjoyable than a 30 min lunchtime queue to post a letter here, where your patience is rewarded by staff so gruff and rude that it borders on abusive. You can buy stamps at the shop desk rather than the post office part, but only in books of 10 million of whatever.

I think it's clear after 1 visit here that the post office function of this place was deemed a low-priority some time ago. It's an ugly, unhelpful shop specializing in finding ways to get tourists money... bureau de change, expensive postcards, maps, teddy bear beef-eaters.

"What's that? You want to post a letter?"

RAWWR! Tiger RAWWWRR!!!

A great playful name for a great playful shop. The best thing to come out of Denmark since Lego and Bacon.

::: wait, Lego AND Bacon? good work Denmark! :::

Tiger sells household knick-knacks, a few funky gadgets and art gear for wonderfully cheap prices. Everything looks good and good value, even the potato peelers. There's something so appealing about a well-lit minimal store where things sell for £1 not 95p. Single integers FTW.

I can't wait for Tiger to expand it's realm. I'm a devotee already.

I didn't think I could ever give out only 1 star to anywhere serving Pho - but here it is, my worst Vietnamese restaurant experience.

I'll keep it simple as I don't like to rant on negatives for long. Little Hanoi just doesn't seem to be Vietnamese. 70% of the menu seems like Chinese, as does the decor and the staff. Perhaps they can be forgiven as Hanoi is barely 2 hours from China and has a substantial Chinese population. But still, if you're going to be a Vietnamese restaurant FFS learn what Pho is!

Our waitress (who the table next to us described as the rudest woman on earth) didn't understand 'fur' as the pronunciation of pho, and then served my pho with nothing but the bowl of noodle soup and meat. No sauces, no vegetables, no herbs and no lime. I asked for them but only got some sauces. You've no idea how bad pho is without the extras. It's terrible! And terrible is made even worse when there is only 1 meatball in the whole soup and the lack of beef has supplemented with reformed pieces of chicken breast. Does this sound like pho to you?

Our incredibly crap meal came to almost twice the price of the places on Kingsland Rd and for that we were treated like slaughter cattle by our waitress - she really was horrid.

Constructive Criticism for Little Hanoi - close and re-open as Little Chengdu. There's enough Vietnamese round here now, and I bet you could do a real good Szechuan restaurant instead.

I need to confess... I'm a self-harmer. My masochistic appetite is getting stronger and I'm continually facing a search for new places to help me inflict increasing pain on myself.

And Al Amira is my latest find.

Jalapenos haven't sufficed for years, Thai Chillies became ordinary months ago and now the copious inclusion in my cooking of Bird Chillies from the opposite Thai Smile store is beginning to become boring. Al Amira can go one better.

Habaneros!

Where ten bird chillies could tickle my tongue, one of Al Amira's fresh habaneros (scotch bonnets) can do ten times that. It's a heat on par with a hundred jalapenos, and it's heaven to my curries.

Al Amira is now my favourite new stop for fresh fruit and veg on my cycle home. The goods inside aren't up to much, but the fresh produce on show on the street is good value, fresh and has the international variety a foodie would crave for and the spiciest chillies a tongue-damaged idiot like me simply depends on.

7 types of free drink, 7 stalls of free food, all at 7 Torrens St. I think this makes a good candidate for my lucky 777th review, don't you?

Yelp UK's Burst Birthday - bursting with more wonderful juvenile energy than Octomom in a labour ward. In my whole history of Yelp events never have I seen such a fun-studded line-up of entz, libations and freebies. 'Why Yelp, with this party you are really spoiling us, no?'

I haven't even got round the whole amazing Metalworks yet but the night has already given me some wonderful favourites like...
Twirly potato thing. Cheese flvr pls
A real bonafide photobooth. Snap.
A Circle Line underground train serving Makers Mark
Frae froyo as light as clouds and creamy as Angelina Jolie
Hog Roast with amazing crackling.
Oysters! OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!
... and my favourite if all... a whole room of real grass with real grass smell, gnomes and juniper vodka in antique porcelian. Wow. Wow Yelp Wow

If the afterparty is but 1/7th the fun that Burst Birthday us then someone better book me in for some serious ibuprofen tomorrow morning.

Definitely a rarity in central London - a French restaurant serving good affordable food with a smile. I just wish I could tell you all about it, but truth is I left here so ridiculously drunk that the next 12 hours of my life were a complete loss and the following 12 after that were a surreal ordeal.

Don't worry Yelpers... I didn't wake to find myself in an ice bath with one kidney removed (my liver maybe).

The thing is that Shampers IS good for groups. Very Good. And every December a group of us hire out the bottom room for a 20+ people go at the set menu and all their wines. Too many wines.

So if you're looking for a good place for your next big group dinner I can heartily recommend Shampers from what memory brain cells I have left from that day. Just go easy when it comes to drinking games and Beaujolais, okay?

Welcome to diabetes. Free glazed donut with your first insulin shot. £1.20 from then on. OMG.

My tastebuds give you five stars. My wallet gives you two stars. My Islets of Langahans gives you nothing, cause they just died.

A second donut? Yes please. I'll just park my glucose coma over here. Get you epi-pens at the ready.

To get to the White Hart from Waterloo station is about 100 paces but feels a million miles away. Suddenly, just a block away from the busy roads and imposing railway architecture are two or three beautiful little Victorian terraced steets and their warm local pub. It's a time-warp place. The street looks like the opening scene in 1984 and the pubs jukebox doesn't look changed since 1964.

Fortunately the pub grub is up-to-date with some noveau burger options to go with the great value baguettes, bangers and mash and snack platters. The beer selection is good too... at least 3 Belgians on tap plus real ales, Aspalls and some Sierra too.

It's a small busy place full of good people. Such a rarity in Waterloo that you can ask the question... 'Why tell everyone else about this gem?'

Another question you can ask is... 'How did 2 pints of the same ale come to £6.15?'. That one baffled us all night.