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"Mo Jitos, Mo Problems..."

Ambassador

Review votes:
7204 Useful, 7394 Funny, and 6433 Cool

Compliments
You're Funny (949)
Nice Picture (127)
Thank You (1124)
Well Put! (293)
Just a Note (527)
Great Photo (110)
Hot Stuff (912)
You're Cool (923)
Write More (102)
Location

London

Yelping Since

July 2007

Things I Love

people, laughing, cinnamon bears, traveling, wicked jam sessions y'all, awkward yelp confessions, Willie Nelson, veggies, the 90s, the guy who keeps me keepin' on, outdoor sports, floating down rivers, soccer shorts, salsa

Find Me In

'N OUT.  Please?

My Hometown

Seattle, WA

My Blog Or Website

...just hit refresh

When I'm Not Yelping...

As Yelp's International Ambassador, unless I'm hopping the pond I'm Yelping GMT!

Why You Should Read My Reviews

I'll blind you with my science.

My Second Favorite Website

http://twitter.com/Yel...  That @YelpLondon is so hot right now.

The Last Great Book I Read

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

My First Concert

Sir Mix-a-lot                                         (I bought a snap bracelet)

My Favorite Movie

Does Captain E.O. Count?   Cause WOW: http://www.youtube.com...

My Last Meal On Earth

will be clothing-optional

Don't Tell Anyone Else But...

my college mascot was a poet.

Most Recent Discovery

"Pants" and "Fanny" don't translate well.

Current Crush

Mignon Fogarty & her endless 'Quick and Dirty Tips'

Recent Reviews

1020 Reviews

Filter by: Location   Category
8-10 Brewer St
London W1F 0SE
020 7734 3040

Madame JoJo's  

Categories: Bars, Adult Entertainment, Comedy Clubs
Neighbourhood: Soho

4 star rating
 3/9/2010  
Ahhh, Madame JoJo's. If ever a venue worth yelping about, this is certainly it.

Descending into the velvety depths of this Soho haunt is like dipping into Batman's secret sex cave that he hides from even his most exclusively kept company, (but probably not from Robin). It's a bit dark and grimy, but my initial skepticism was immediately replaced with an instant affection for this sultry glamour-filled hot spot.

You must pay homage to any venue that effectively evokes Moulin Rouge style, Vegas sleaze and New Orleans nonchalance. Add an evening of Kitsch Cabaret and/or Burlesque Idol to the mix and you'll see exactly what I'm yelping about...

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20 Upper ST. Martin's Lane
London WC2H 9JZ
020 7836 1834

The Sussex  

Category: Pubs
Neighbourhood: Covent Garden

3 star rating
 1/9/2010  
The trick is timing your visit to this friendly humble pub when there aren't hordes of tourists swarming about, speaking too loudly, not queuing properly, and generally making your life miserable. Then you'll really enjoy your quiet pint and chat with the lovely bar staff. The prime real estate makes The Sussex an idea place to pop in and warm up during a mandatory holiday shopping spree.

If anyone figures out this elusive timing I speak of, please fill me in.

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5 Garrick St
London WC2E 9AR
020 7240 6225

Snog  

Categories: Ice Cream & Frozen Yogurt, Gluten-Free

4 star rating
 1/9/2010  
You know, I do fancy a good snog. And to be honest, the more locations where I can get my snog on, the better. When this shop opened in Covent Garden I became an immediate regular and have quickly realised that as it turns out my snogging preference is natural with no toppings.  

Judge if you will, but it's fresh. It's clean. It's healthy. And it's the best thing I've licked in ages.

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234 Bath Rd
Hounslow UB3 5AP
0870 000 0123

Heathrow Airport  

Category: Airports

4 star rating
 Update - 31/8/2010 1 photo 1 Check-in Here  
Clean, modern and no frills, I was pleasantly surprised to arrive at Terminal 4 at 4 in the morning.  You are not going to get the glitz and glamour of Terminal 5, but you are going to be able to check-in, go through security, get a coffee, buy two bottles of Pimms from duty-free, grab a book for the flight, and be at your gate in under 20 minutes from arriving.  Or at least I was.

You were born a child of the '80s, and now in your upper 20s you've never looked better.  Now, that is something I can get behind. (I cannot, howe,ver, endorse flying one hour east to Amsterdam only to tack on an additional hour to the already painfully long flight to the United States.  Your good Terminal 4, but not that good...)

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3 Previous Reviews: Hide »

  • 1 star rating
    31/3/2010

    If Dickens were hip to air travel, he'd surly agree that it is the best of airports and the worst of airports.

    I thought I'd seen the worst of Heathrow in terminal 3 until the atrocities of terminal 1 were realized. Friends, Heathrow terminal 1 is so far and beyond the worst airport terminal I've ever been in that it makes EWR seem like a posh day spa.

    This vile atrocity of a people herder involves elevated metal passages that lead into large glass circular spaces, which then have off-shoots of more and more of these maze like passageways until you reach your sad little gate. You've had a hamster. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

    At one point, one posh Brit remarked under his breath: "My my, here we finally are muffin.  ...10 kilometers later." This hyperbole is all too close to the truth.

    I've uploaded a photo taken in terminal one that pretty much describes the horrors beyond horrors to be found here: http://www.yelp.c...

    AVOID!

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  • 1 star rating
    13/8/2009

    Ohhhh no.  No no no no no. NO.

    Terminal 3? The vile atrocities that I have seen within the last hour have now secured the fact that I will never choose an airline that uses this terminal. That scratches out both Virgin and United... and 33 other airlines, but seriously, I think I may have caught a disease just by sitting in this chaotic cesspool of nasty. This is not ok.

    Cattle call hording, I mean boarding areas
    Personal searches before and after using the toilet
    Holes in walls
    Mold and water damage in corners
    People stacked on top of one another
    Nothing more than two vending machines within the security area -- there's more selection in a prison. Vile.  

    ...oh my... now there is a young child digging through a rubbish bin conveniently placed in the middle of the seating area. And now he's licked it. Oh good, and now mummy is receiving the "treats" he has plundered and setting them gently on the seat next to her. (Refer to above concern about disease catching.)

    Newp. Never again.

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  • 4 star rating
    27/5/2009

    *Commence 600th Review Dance NOW*

    Dearest clean, quick, savvy, Heathrow Terminal 5:

    We've had some good times, haven't we? You've let me run through your hallowed halls in panicked fury and sniff your perfumes pretending that I would consider buying anything other than booze from Duty Free. We've frisked, we've upgraded, we've seen more of one another than ever anticipated. Overall, things have really taken off between us.

    So, in humble admiration, I've painstakingly composed this gem of poetic magic for you:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I humbly devote
    My six hundredth to you.

    p.s. "baggage left unattended will be removed and DESTROYED."

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14045 Armstrong Woods Rd
Guerneville, CA 95446
USA
+1-707-869-9706

Coffee Bazaar  

Category: Coffee & Tea

4 star rating
 30/8/2010  
Redwoods, wine country, rivers, Sonoma coast, space, space, space, space space! Wow, I love it here! (Forgive me, I'm having a bit of a romantic affair with Guerneville.) Maybe it was the picturesque drive up the 101 from SF, or perhaps all the wine and hot tubing and wine, but after 24-hours I was sold.

However when I woke up and needed coffee, I'll be the first to admit that I didn't have high hopes. I mean, most phones weren't getting reception, so I figured on the yardstick of interest, the idea of internet came just before, I don't know, conjunctive grammars with restricted disjunction.

But smack in the middle of this little outdoor paradise is Coffee Bazaar. Free wifi, great coffee, friendly people and a fantastic open windowed setting. Sure the nude paintings alongside Eminem were, well, bizarre to say the least, but we went in for a cuppa to take away and ended up spending three hours lounging, sipping, enjoying, talking... about conjunctive grammars with restricted disjunction, of course.

Highly recommended for a nice friendly punch before your day of adventure.

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11 Rollins Rd
Millbrae, CA 94031
USA
+1-800-786-1000

In-N-Out Burger  

Categories: Fast Food & Takeaways, Burgers

5 star rating
 29/8/2010  
Replay of Laura's first day back in California in 6 months:
1. Land at SFO
2. Successfully maneuver through baggage and customs
3. Pick up rental car
4. Drive immediately to In-N-Out

That's how much I love these 20 (okay 5) bites of heaven. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom.  How I have missed you so.

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6 Chepstow Rd
London W2 5BH
020 7792 4088

UYE: Pizza Party @ Otto's  

Category: Local Flavour
Neighbourhood: Notting Hill

5 star rating
 27/8/2010   First to Review
I knew the cornmeal crust was going to be good... I mean, how could it not be? But add a group of interesting yelpers to the mix and that's really when the whole pizza-shoving-in-my-face experience experience goes from nice 'n' tasty to holy-hell-delicious. And I like it that way.

We were quite chatty until the pizza arrived, then it was a tangled mess of arms and mouths and grunting. And... well, you can imagine how the rest of the evening went from there.

Another fabulous night out eating my favourite food with some of my favourite people! And Otto Pizza? They really have something going on. I recommend getting over there quickly before you can't get a table in their tiny joint of pure delicious.

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Praed St
London W2 1EE
020 7850 0500

Hilton London Paddington  

Category: Hotels
Neighbourhood: Marylebone

4 star rating
 26/8/2010  
In all fairness, I've never stayed here. Nor have I ever known anyone to stay here. But the Hilton Paddington holds a special place in my heart simply for the number of times I've snuggled up on one of their lobby couches, ordered coffee or wine from their lobby café, or saddled up to a desk in their executive lounge while eagerly awaiting one of my guests to arrive into Paddington.

It really is a perfect meeting place for your London visitors -- it's easy to find for them, and you get to enjoy coffee, wine and free wifi in a quiet lounge rather than waiting at one of the many coffee counters inside Paddington station, inhaling train-nastiness, and being hustled and bustled by passengers running late.

I hate waiting, and even I will be the first to admit that this is a 4-star waiting experience.

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82 Islington High St
London N1 8EQ
020 7247 5163

The York  

Categories: Pubs, British
Neighbourhood: Islington

3 star rating
 25/8/2010 1 Check-in Here  
Aww... The York isn't a two star pub! Ok so maybe the interior isn't the classiest, the most authentic, the most discriminative, the most elegant, the most, the most, ok fine - so it's a veritable Denny's of pub interiors. And yes, maybe the clientele reflects that.

But that stone outdoor seating area is perfect for people watching over a pint on a lazy summer afternoon. Or 2pm on a Wednesday... whichever. Let's just say I'm certainly jealous every time I choose to run by on a sweltering afternoon rather than join in.

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1101 4th Ave
Seattle, WA 98101
USA
+1-206-624-7755

Sazerac  

Category: American (New)
Neighbourhood: Downtown

4 star rating
 24/8/2010  
Wow -- how easy it is to forget the fabulous happy hour culture of Seattle and Portland... Mmmm... oohhh... awwhhh... drool, drool...

*snaps into reality*

This one, as they say on this side, is cheap as chips! Pizza for $2? Sliders for $2? Seriously, that's like £1.15. And from someone who commonly (cough, every day, cough) pays £2.35 for a small latte, this is stunning. I nearly ordered three more solely for ROI purposes!  

Please, please, please enjoy this and every other fabulous happy hour while you can! It's from 4-8 and you should stay and indulge the entire time. Do it for me. You're paying half of what I pay for my daily coffee on pizza and a burger. No, not individually, but together. One bill.

Pizza, people, pizza. Seriously. Epic.

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5159 Compliments

  • You're Cool

    Larissa wouldn't approve - these people prefer coffee over conjunctive… More »

  • You're Cool

    This is because you are a glutton for PUNishment! ;)

  • Hot Stuff

    You're hotter than a vindaloo and twice as spicy.

More »

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