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    • Qype User Global…
    • London
    • 11 friends
    • 143 reviews
    5.0 star rating

    Went there for a swim today. Good value and staff could not have been more friendly.

  • 1.0 star rating

    I do not usually read reviews because I prefer to make up my mind for myself.  I have never written a review either but after the events of September 7th 2011, I had to write this to warn people.

    I paid £23.60 for my ticket and was given 2 towels and a quick tour of the facilities. I used the sauna, steam and plunge pool.  I would not say the facilities were in the best of conditions I would say it was a scene of Grime and Crime!

    Anyway after completing a few circuits of sauna/steam I thought it was time to get my own shower gel from my locker.  My shower gel was called Joop and came with an aftershave set.  

    I left the gel for 60 seconds in the shower to go and get my second towel to dry off.  On returning it had vanished!  When I asked the men if anyone had seen it they all laughed and said it was a natural occurrence for things to go missing there.  I attempted to complain to the attendant who just said that you have to watch your stuff like a hawk there.  I was also informed that the council accepted no responsibility for stolen items although there were no signs written anywhere stating this!

    To make matters worse whilst this conversation was taking place a regular visitor called the attendant by first name to come over to his locker.  His locker had been smashed in broad daylight, his trousers had been stolen!  The poor man had his wallet in his trousers containing £400!  I just felt really sorry for him standing there with no trousers.  How was he going to get home it was not at all funny.

    It appears that the place is infested with some low life thieves so go there at your peril.  The establishment has a very real security problem and I for one will never visit that place again!

  • 3.0 star rating

    Booked myself for a body scrub at the Porchester Spa for 15GBP and it fealt like I stepped into another world.

    When I walked in there was a guy in a kitchen openly preparing a fried fish. Reminds me of some backward Eastern European country. Then when the doors swung open I look upon a gloomy hall with old naked men.

    Overheard men talking about money and scams and it seemed like a gone back to the Rachman era when Westbourne Grove and surrounds were pretty run down.

    Despite every corner of the place looking like a crime scene, the staff were friendly and the scrub itself was novel. I don't think I've ever been quite so emotional about pain, embarrassment and smooth skin since I was a virgin.

    5 stars if you like odd London experiences. 1 star if you're a man like myself who thinks they should be in a bright Californian "ClubSport" being rubbed down by a young latina.

  • 3.0 star rating

    I only came for the Turkish baths and steam room.  If you have ever watched the movie Eastern Promises, this is what the facilities remind me of.  Lots of old green and white tiling.  The relaxation room looks like it was very grand at one point - now adorned with various pieces of plastic furniture, it has been now relegated to a life of shabby functionality.  

    The facilities are constantly cleaned by the staff there, but I was a little bit grossed out by all the signs explicitly saying "no exfoliating with mitts and muds in the facilities", and tons of women not heeding these so-called rules.

    There is a menu and a little cafe - unfortunately I didn't try anything.  I hope to come back for one of the services (exfoliation, massages)

    Facilities are a bit old, but overall clean.  Only £13.50 with a MyWestminster card, otherwise around £23. Quite a steal for Central London, and a unique experience.

  • 5.0 star rating
    First to Review

    My mum booked us in for the women's day spa (Thursdays) for my birthday. I had a fantastic day and could not believe that the day costs only £30 and includes use of the steam room, cold plunge pool,, sauna and swimming pool. She also booked us in for a full body scrib which was great and a bargain at only £10. In between treatments we chilled out in our white robes on loungers in the green tiled relaxtion room. I would definately recommend Porchester Spa and the prices are unbelievable for a Central London location.

    • Qype User Berr…
    • London
    • 8 friends
    • 134 reviews
    5.0 star rating

    Stunning art deco Turkish baths with arches, tiles and decadent spaces to lounge about in with mint tea, fruits and scones. A green mermaid overlooks the icy cold plunge pool (so cold it is hard not to scream, though you will be frowned upon if you do!). Start by taking it easy in the frigidarium (least hot room), move into the tepidarium to sweat, or if brave to the laconicum - very hot room - if you can bear it, and sweat away your worries. I would recommend taking flip flops as the floor is so hot you end up hopping otherwise. One steam room is so steamy you can't see anyone in it. There is a roomy sauna too. Most people go naked (there are alternate days for men or women, and one mixed day when swimwear is worn), although you are given a cloth and two towels to wrap around you. You can book massages and body scrubs there, and order food too. It is expensive but you can use the swimming pool too, and as you can spend three hours there it is worth it.

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