This place is a bit tacky but is all in the name of good fun. Best for singles and hen/stag parties. Jumpin Jaks consists of a large dancefloor split into different parts.
There are many other clubs in this area of the city that Id probably choose before this one, and there tends to be a few old perves which really spoils the fun. However this is the sort of place that can be fun once in a while for a change of scenery.
The prices for drinks are about average for the area but there is a sliding scale on entry, the earlier you go the better BUT I dont think anyone could tolerate staying from opening until closing.
I got taken here one night and as we entered I enquired what was on, the doorman said, foam party, I said no!
Lets get the hell out of here and we did.
The bar resembles a child's crèche area that also serves booze . Avoid
Never before had I entered this establishment, as on reputation I generally know that Jak's was not going to be my cup of tea. However, the Hen crew had called ahead to reserve the 'VIP' area for ourselves to conclude the cheesy festivities - this did not prevent us having to pay a ludicrous cover charge despite being told we'd get free entry.
As it was a Hen party, we were given complimentary bubbly in the so called VIP area, which was actually more crowded than the regular area. Someone also came by to sell us shots, which was just as well as it was a nightmare to get anywhere near the bar, and when you finally got there the drink was fairly expensive. The music was suitably cheesy, and there seemed to be a few Hens in the house with a few singles dancing about them. But for the life of me I couldn't figure out the draw to this place. It seemed to be crowded, but there were two inadequately staffed bars, the music selection wasn't brilliant, the floors were sticky everywhere... strangely the bathroom seemed cleaner than the club at large.
At some point during the evening, I thought I'd lost my mobile. I asked one of the bouncers at the VIP rope if they'd seen it or if it had been handed in, and all I got was a shrug in reply. He didn't even check with anyone on his wee radio. Not helpful, and I wasn't impressed. Luckily, one of the other girls had lifted it because I'd left it by the sink in the bathroom. *phew*
Had I not been with good company and if I'd not already had a considerable amount to drink, I don't think I'd have stuck around as long as I did. I had a great time, but the establishment was not the reason for that.
Jesus Christ, what a shithole.
I'm not the type who considers myself too cool for anything, but for this place I'll make an exception. Beyond cheesy, with a horrific beach / New Orleans theme, and Steps and Neil Diamond on the playlist, it really is the pits.
I once got dragged here for the student night, where teams from the three universities go on stage to compete against each other in a number of degrading and pointless tasks. It was even worse than it sounds.
This is a very strange club that seems to have existed since the dawn of time on Sauchiehall Street. Up the stairs you go into a gigantic cavernous room that seems to have no thought put into its design.
It is frequented by scary hen parties wearing stockings, hairy legs and tiny tiny tops that do nothing to support their massive lady lumps. You begin to wonder which one is the hen and then wonder how she managed to trick someone into marrying her.
I even managed to get chatted up at the bar while standing with my boyfriend and holding hands with him. Probably because I was one of the few lovely ladies in here with a body unravaged by 15 kids AND all my own teeth.
Probably best avoided.
Ended up in here after something or other at The Kings one night, after some powerful PR work on behalf of a nice gal with shiny white teeth.
This place is quite funky inside, but it's really not my cup of tea.
A hefty wait at the bar to pay about a billion euros for a drink after paying far too much to get in.. no thanks.
I would say the mean age of the punters was 30 which put me out of my element to say the least.
A decent place for hen parties, but not ideal for gents out on the prowl.
"The best party in town"
Despite the slogan, this place is not the best party in town.
It's a wholly depressing affair - the club is quite massive, with a stage and huge dancefloor, but the decor (jungle? beach? mardi-gras?! what the hell is the theme?!) music and clientele make it a dull experience. And it's always packed (how?!) and the bar can't always cope - 20 mins to get a drink? No ta.
I spent my fair share of wednesday nights here (COP night - basically it was Glasgow uni vs Cally vs Strathclyde students in an array of horrific tasks, ranging from sucking the chocolate off of a crunchie bar whilst down some blokes trousers, a male/female clothes swap, and other such horrors) when I was in 1st year of uni (they used to put on a bus from our halls down to the club - saying that, we sometimes used it as a taxi service, and bolted as soon as it stopped on Sauchiehall street), but I won't be repeating the experience anytime soon, as I still have nightmares about the idiots walking around with the bottles of £5 'champagne' being sick next to the dance floor. Eww.
Unless it sounds like your type of place, I don't think Jumpin Jaks lives up to its slogan.
As it might be clear from some of my review, I am having a midlife crisis. So, having seen someone say that this was the go-to place for such people, I decided to hit the Jaks.
Now I am just depressed. I have to give the place an extra star, because everyone else seemed to be having fun: it's loud, brash and cheeky, a bit like one of those Spring Break things you see in the states. Only this time, it has that Glasgow edge, making it almost exciting.
The cheesy chart play list is fun, if you aren't a single man wondering what the hell has brought you here, and the busy bar is inevitable- as is the long queue to get in. I don't think that they have a dress code, though: otherwise, my Mr Darcy look would have got me barred for life.
I don't want to say that the place is bad, as it is full of happy, drunk, punters. But I think that I had better stick to long walks in the park.
the best for a hen night/wild girlie night out.
has varied music and lots of entertainment
always a drink promo on so depending on what you are drinking then it should be cheap enough.
opens and nine pm and is usually cheaper to get in then.
My friends and I always have fun whenever we go to Jumpin Jaks. The main thing that draws us hear are the bouncers, anyone who has been out in Glasgow will know how tempremental the bouncers can be with you, turning you away for no good reason after you have waited in a queue. We have never been turned away from here and the bouncers even chat to you while you wait in line!
You have to go here with an open mind because it is cheesy beyond belief! But in my opinion that all adds to the fun of it. At different points of the night different people get up on the stage whether it be the bar staff dancing of the guys who play the dual pianos! One night we were here there were 2 guy from chewin the fat on stage!
Always have a great laugh here and no one takes themselves too seriously!
I go here lots, especially at Halloween & I have also been at New Years Eve. I find this a friendly & comfortable place with clean & decent size toilets with toilet attendant & lots of make up, perfume & tioletries you can use if you wish. The drinks are expensive but so is most places & the music is cheesy but wen you have had a few drinks who cares wat you dance to lol. I booked here for a friends birthday & we all got free entry, a table set aside for us with streamers & big birthday balloon & free champagne & my friend got a birthday bag with birthday hat, poppers etc. Attracts friendly & down to earth people, which I like
No No No........Avoid at all costs unless you like sticky floors, tacky music, huge queues to get served and bad dancing!
mmmmm good place if your over 50 or completely smashed and no1 else will let you in anywhere???
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