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  • 3.0 star rating
    3/1/2012

    i was at this place in March 2011.. heard a lot abt this club from my friends... so went on a weekday... it was an after party for Bruno Mars... interior is cool... small place with pricey drinks... music was a mix of hip-house and house... crowd was decent...

    wasn't impressed at all... would come back for a normal weekend to give a proper review...

  • 1.0 star rating
    4/7/2010

    UGH! HORRIBLE.

    Apparently my friend was "too slow to get out his wallet", the short chubby freckly blonde girl dressed in black told us. This was also apparently justification to straight up reach out her fatass arm to PUSH ME. I calmly responded "Please don't touch me" while one of my friends said "It's not necessary to raise your voice" to her, then this other girl pops out of nowhere saying "Yes, it is." Our promoter then came upstairs to tell them it's okay and that we weren't even supposed to pay in the first place, but at that point I couldn't wait to leave!

    Unless you enjoy unkempt wannabe-upper class slags pretending to be superior over you, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME!

  • 2.0 star rating
    20/2/2010
    First to Review

    A place frequented by those possessed with a pathology of  "the dark triad (i.e narcissism, machiavellism and averant self-promotion).

    Outside the queues are long and the skirts are short...the lights are low and the heels high (how do those poor dears manage).

    Inside its all glitz and glamour and OMG is that a footballer over there?....No....no it isn't..its just someone with quite a bit of money to spare (throw away)....and nothing else better to do.

    Jalouse..moi? Give over....It's just not my sort of thing.

    • Qype User antiso…
    • London
    • 41 friends
    • 159 reviews
    2.0 star rating
    15/9/2010

    Amazing decor with a light up ceiling and loads of platforms for the braver (or drunker) people to dance on. The music isn't bad and the sound system is really good too.

    As you'd expect of Mayfair though, heavily over-priced drinks and stupid dress code policies (especially if you are a group of guys with no girls)

    Personally, I don't really like this kind of club as I find it really pretentious but if your down in London and you are looking for a celebrity hang-out spot and you don't mind breaking the bank just to get tipsy then head on down - just make sure you bring a sleeping bag because you will need to be incredibly beautiful or get down there incredibly early to beat the queue..

  • 2.0 star rating
    26/10/2013

    Based on the website, I was expecting a LOT better. It must have been a nice place a decade ago, but now it's downright shabby. I attended a private event here and they had the lighting on some bizarre green shade than made us all look a bit ill. There was no paper in the loos, missing doors, missing seats and doors that didn't lock properly. There was a lot of black duct tape in the seating area. In serious need of refurbishment! I arrived early and was on the event list, but even then it was a bit of a drama to get in. I would not be in a hurry to return!

  • 4.0 star rating
    22/5/2013

    While it was some clowns and ratchet floozies in this establishment I had a b.l.a.s.t.! The music was great, crowd diverse, venue extremely pretty! The lights and the wording on the steps of the club was amazing. The drinks are expensive and on a Thursday they were asking for a 20 quid cover charge I still had fun. Probably because I didn't have to pay, I didn't mind. I had like some watermelon martini. Wanted the kiwi drink but they were all out of kiwi. The drinks are soooo good! The females here were getting beyond wasted. Like taken advantage of wasted. Dirty. I try to keep my lady when drinking so I wasn't with that but it was funny watching some of those girls get trashed like that. I would DEFINITELY come back.

  • 4.0 star rating
    26/2/2010

    you know, once *inside* jalouse isn't all bad.  actually, i quite like it.  it's a small club but not one of those itsy-bitsy boutique kinds.  the layout is wonderful (a sunken dance floor surrounded by tables).  the bar basically stretches the length of the club and the barmen are accommodating and drinks well-made.  and the music!  there hasn't been a night that i haven't *loved* the music and wanted to stay till the wee hours...

    honestly, the problem with this club are its promoters and door staff.  depending on whose list/table you're on/ how much they like of you they'll either be the cold side or cordial or bitchy.  and they're sometimes extortionate when it comes to the cover (even for girls!  even on a weeknight!) it's not cool.  i have friends who simply won't come here unless they *know* who is going to be on the door... it's just not worth the hassle otherwise.  

    which is all just a shame really, because, like i said... once inside, you're almost guaranteed a great night.

  • 5.0 star rating
    23/8/2010

    Had an awesome night here. Spent the day at polo then got bottle service with a party of about 20 at Jalouse. Very "London" . The reso got us all in pretty quickly which was appereciated. Enjoyed it because we got a booth and were able to dance on the tables, the booth seats, AND the level above the seats.  No one stopped us so we did that all night and I sorta had the time of my life.  But if you don't like loud music, don't like getting sweaty, don't like spending money, you will hate this place.

  • 1.0 star rating
    5/6/2010

    a few girlfriends and i headed over to jalouse the other night (we were on the guestlist and met up with friends there who had a table).

    we ended up bailing after an hour of waiting.

    i know what you are thinking - this is a bad review because i didn't get in, but that's simply not the case. i'm sure it is lovely inside and worth a higher review, but after what i experienced outside i'm not sure how much that can even make up for it.

    every bouncer was a complete jerk and the promoters we talked to brushed us off before we got two words out. considering we had a table reserved, this isn't the treatment i expected at all.

    on top of it all, there was girl who was going to try and get us in after all our trying - she was celebrating her 18th birthday. that's when i decided this place was not for me.

    while it may be cool and beautiful, i think it's cool and beautiful for those turning 18. and i'll let them have it.

    • Qype User ptimot…
    • London
    • 29 friends
    • 36 reviews
    4.0 star rating
    27/7/2009

    This is an awesome club, the music is great, the atmosphere is cool. I went in this club a couple of time and i really enjoyed it. I highly recomend this club if you want to enjoy a night out in London

    • Qype User sarahe…
    • London
    • 0 friends
    • 2 reviews
    1.0 star rating
    27/4/2012

    AWFUL.
    Waited 20 mins to get in , even though we were on the guest list.
    Had a table booked for 10 people, but were given a table for 4 people.
    Paid an extortionate amount of money for the tiny table and bottle of vodka.
    Club wanted £120 tip paid upfront before they had even brought us a drink!
    Rubbish music ( music from the free TV channels).
    Too crowded, no room to dance.
    Walked
    through the crowd and was pushed from behind, turned around to see it
    was a member of staff trying to hurry me through the club.
    Why would anyone want to go there???

    • Qype User tramj…
    • London
    • 2 friends
    • 8 reviews
    4.0 star rating
    5/9/2010

    I like this place and have had some great nights in here. BUT standard rules apply, you will not get in unless you have a promoters phone number to hand or are willing to meet the minimum spend on a table.

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